Escordvi Inbox

[telepathicignorance]

Text|Call|Whatever

Comments

TEXT

[menaceunleashed]

Where do you keep wandering off?

[telepathicignorance]

(Well that's nerve wracking. They absolutely do not want him learning about some of the stuff they do.

Mostly they don't want him to know about them checking up on Turo, or why. Or that Turo exists in general.

Fortunately, there are plenty of things they do that they don't care if he knows about.)

There's a bakery I like to visit. Probably the best on all the islands. You wanna join me?

(They know he liked the cheesecake and quesadilias Reaper has been making. Hopefully the appeal of more good food will distract him.)

[menaceunleashed]

Every day?

[There's a difference between happening to enjoy certain foods and...this, he thinks.]

[telepathicignorance]

Yeah. Need a lot of sugar to fuel my abilities. They have good sweet pastries.

(He should know by now. The illusions. The way they seem to be able to detect the presence of anything alive. Their near inability to be hit in battle. Their near miraculous ability to track down ships and know where they will be. They're packing some pretty incredible powers, even if they're mostly secret about how they work.)

[menaceunleashed]

Are Reaper's skills not enough?

[the guy makes good food, ok. alternatively]

If that is the case, then the chef could be brought into the crew.

[Kidnapping. He's talking about kidnapping the baker.]

[telepathicignorance]

It's not a matter of skill. Some stuff is more of a hassle to make than it's worth unless you're selling it as part of a business. I can get sugar from a lot of sources, I prefer this for the taste.

(Please do not kidnap any bakers, Ganon.)

You sure you don't wanna come try it?

[menaceunleashed]

[but why not tho]

I suppose I could spare time to see what has you so enamored.

[telepathicignorance]

(Moral concerns aside, Sidestep doesn't want to have to constantly scan the baker's mind for intent to poison the whole crew.)

Meet me on the dock in 10 minutes?

[menaceunleashed]

[aint his problem your CON save is crap]

Very well. I will be there.

[and he will be. in his usual wear. thankfully, he's not the only half-naked guy running around, so]

[telepathicignorance]

(And they're in their typical civilian garb. As in, starkly contrasted to Gannon, being a small slip of a person wearing enough layers as to make one wonder how they function in the heat.

They're wearing their pink split skirt outfit today.

They'll wave at him when he approaches.)

It's not too far.

(Within half a mile of the docks.

..It's weird to think that they're on the back of a creature so big that its size can be measured in miles.)

[menaceunleashed]

[maybe if he combines multiple Megamaki.....................

horrific thoughts aside, he nods, allowing Sidestep to lead. though he looks skeptical again]

Every day, Chris?

[seriously, this place better be good. he's still very much just 'what']

[telepathicignorance]

Yeah.

(100% true and 0% shame there. Yeah, there might be other things motivating them to wander off but they always gotta stop by the bakery.

Anyway they'll take the lead. As usual, walking with Chris is uniquely efficient, as crowds just seem to part more easily around them. With Ganon's sheer intimidation factor likely contributing to people staying out of their way, they ought to get to their destination in no time flat.

The building may not look like much... but wow that is a beautiful window display, with its arrangement of cakes and tarts decorated in dazzling colorful arrays of candied fruits and flowers and little chocolates in various shapes.

Smells pretty awesome too.)

[menaceunleashed]

[by the goddesses.

either way he's taking no notice of the crowd and no interest. Instead gazing at the sweets with dubiousness, though some of the breads may catch his attention. Hn.]

...we would not have the means for them to continue such a variety on the ship.

[As much as he'll get to of 'okay, fine, no kidnapping']

[telepathicignorance]

(Oh, good. It seems that, for now, Ganon has seen the light.)

This is just the display to lure people in. There's even more inside.

(They open the door. Can you smell the fresh meat pies, Ganon? The herb and cheese bread? The ruby chocolate brownies?)

[menaceunleashed]

[Don't expect it to happen often. He'd much rather cover the land in darkness, etc etc.

But.

...yeah those smells are good, he'll silently admit that. Some of the bakery clientele seem a little surprised about a man of his...bearing...being present here, especially with the critical frown he wears as he looks over everything - lingering near the savory foods, rather than sweet - but as ever?

He mostly ignores the others. Though what he's looking at appears to use some honey - he's used to that, at least.]

...this...excess...is far more than I ever cared to indulge in.

[telepathicignorance]

(Yeah yeah, big villain and all, they get that. But like, consider: leaving some bakeries so he can enjoy things like this.)

Personally, I believe in indulging in whatever the fuck you want so long as you've got the means for it. I'll pay.

(They've been having some real good treasure hauls. They could buy out the whole bakery if they wanted, probably.)

[menaceunleashed]

So long as you are able to maintain it over another's attempts to wrest it away, I suppose there is no harm.

[Don't get fat and lazy, in other words. Sidestep will know by now that Ganondorf doesn't tolerate any sort of sloth; he will allow rests, yes, but gives a critical eye to even those.

Even so, he makes a gesture towards one of the breads. That one.]

[telepathicignorance]

Could just make any potential thieves taste nothing but garbage if they try.

(It wouldn't last for long after they stopped actively projecting the illusion unless they went really strong on it, but...

Anyway, Ganon shouldn't be worried. They're going to remain scrawny and underwhelming forever.

They'll get the bread for him, and anything else he asks for, along with enough sweets that they can either share with him if he wants or keep the extras for later.)

[menaceunleashed]

[He's not going to waste effort debating this. He's just going to give Sidestep an flat look that says as much, and, with a not-quite-sigh, indicate a sort of candied fruit.]

Enough for the crew.

[He's doing this as a Favor, Sidestep. You best appreciate him indulging like this! Though every part of him - posture, mind, etc - is practically screaming this is stupid. But hey, at least he's reassured that Sidestep isn't plotting behind his back?

And he - Ganondorf - isn't stupid enough to outright call this detour of theirs stupid, nor even discourage them from doing so. Makes no difference, so long as he can still count on them.]

[telepathicignorance]

(Oh they appreciate it alright. Look at that shit eating grin. Don't you just want to punch them in the face?)

Of course.

(They're going to get so much mileage out of this. How pissed will Ganon be when he has to admit that the pastries are delicious?

They decide not to push their luck by ordering anything more than what he's asked for and the excess they've already ordered. Ganon isn't an opponent that can be beat with simple numbers.)

Christmas Gift

[lucky_e]

Hello Chris,

I do hope that you are enjoying your holiday thus far! It is also my hope that you find a little bit of added joy in this letter and gift! Unfortunately, traveling across time and space is a lot, even for me, but I do hope that you still enjoy what I was able to bring you!

Happy Holidays,

Santa Claus

[Sidestep gets a brand-new pair of fancy, black boots, wool socks, and an ultra-cool, slick jacket!

...the pockets are also stuffed with pocky and various candies as well.]

Text | un: BlossomingTide

[withermarked]

Hey. I've got a couple things I wanted to ask you.

First off: you alright? You safe? Saw the bounty on your head. I know we're 'not friends' and everything but I think you were right to share all that.

[telepathicignorance]

Who the fuck is this?

(They've spoken to this username like, once over the network, and yet they're talking like they know each other.

Someone get a name change?)

[withermarked]

Faulkner.

Forgot I changed my name on this thing.

[A small pause between messages.]

Sorry.

[telepathicignorance]

Dick?

(Immediately reminding him why he didn't tell them.)

I'm fine. What did you want to ask?